DOOM Eternal – Making Doom NOT CARTOONY!

Intro

DOOM Eternal is a serious game with serious themes (Like kill and shoot and blood) and there is NO REASON why there should be stuff that belongs in cartoons in here! I hate it! Makes me feel like I’m a BABY, and not a MAN! I’m going to tell you how to FIX IT!

No children allowed

This game is exactly like how I like my women… mature… and serious…
If you live with your mommy or daddy or you’re a BABY who watches CARTOONS (Includes “people” who watch cartoons as adults) then LEAVE! Go back to playing your mario, mario, or mario. (whenever I see something not grey and super serious it’s always comparable to mario and only mario.)… and don’t even think about commenting…. I’ll only talk to you if you watch S*x in the City…

Why are there colors?!

The only colors that should be in any medium for men (like me) should be black, grey, and red (blood red specifically.) DOOM Eternal has more than those colors, but the game is rated M, this is false advertising! If DOOM was made for adults it wouldn’t have colors! Check this out, this is a screenshot from DOOM (2016)

You can see, it’s an adult game because it has only 4 colors (Black, Grey, Red, and Orange), an original sci-fi base setting and hell setting NEVER seen in any other game before, and as you go through the game it only has two colors (orange, and red), this is obviously symbolic for adult stuff having less color! (Early game has a more colors than mid-end game… It’s deep, bro…) and now look at DOOM Eternal…

How could Bethesda (I say Bethesda even though the game is an ID product) betray us like this?! Things are actually INTERESTING TO LOOK AT?! HELLO?! I thought it was supposed to be all Gloomy! Why is the grass green and the water blue?! Here’s what I mean by it being a baby game, too many colors, it looks like a cartoon. Games having an actual artistic vision, and god-tier framing suck, why can’t everything just be realistic?!

Adding Grown-Up colors

Okay, to remove the baby color palette you have to go into your options, go to Video -> Render Mode -> Black & White. This removes all of the gross colors for the children who play this game, now everything will be black and white like the REAL MEN want it!

But you’ll also want to go to UI -> Color Profile and pick one that isn’t Demons or Default, because those have too many colors, I can’t think about too many colors when I’m thinking about adult things! (Like Beer, Taxes, and Guns)

Now the game looks like a real adult games! Babies be gone!

No more goofy effects and sounds!!!!

When you headshot an enemy it makes a loud “POP!” noise, and when you shoot a grenade in a cacodemon’s mouth (Cacodemon, who in fact has a super serious, non-goofy design) makes a silly gulping noise, it seriously doesn’t fit, so here’s my fix, so you can focus on the game, adding character is for loony toons, and this is very grown up, to fix this Simply just turn the SFX to 0, you’ll never hear those sounds again, you can pretend they’re grunting in pain instead of making noises of pain filled grunts

introduced in the new Ancient Gods Pt. 2 DLC update when you stun a Marauder he has kiddy swirls around his head, like I said before, it adds too much character to the game and is clearly the most interesting way to signify a stun to hardcore gamers like me, which is wrong and incorrect, so here’s my solution.

Crank the graphics as low as they can go, go get one of those lowspec.txts off of some website and execute that too

Boom! (Serious boom) now you can’t make those effects out at all anymore! and you can pretend they aren’t there! this is the super-serious DOOM we’ve always wanted!

Conclusion

Please quit looking for stuff to complain about, appreciate things as they are, not everything needs to be ultra-gritty, making a fuss about it doesn’t make you look mature, or cool.

Please comment and like if this helped

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