Totally Accurate Battle Simulator – How many just modern chickens you need to defeat every unit

Instructions

 
Map is Ancient Sandbox 
5 Battles before adding a new chicken 
Units are 10 units apart 
Chickens are in a line 
Chickens are always red team 
Also credit to DistractionCat for the idea 
 
Format: 
Unit name:____ 
Amount of chickens needed:_ 
Successful victories: _/_ 
 
 

Tribal units

 
Clubber 
1 
3/5 
 
Protector 
1 
5/5 
 
Spear thrower 
1 
5/5 
Note: Their aim is so terrible they might as well be blind 
 
Stoner 
1 
4/5 
Note: The boulders just bounce off the chickens??? 
 
Bone mage 
4 
2/20 
 
Chieftain 
3 
1/15 
 
Mammoth 
24 
1/120 
Note: Mammoth is the chosen chicken destroyer confirmed 
 
 

Farmer units

 
Halfling 
1 
5/5 
 
Farmer 
1 
4/5 
 
Hay baler 
1 
5/5 
 
Potionseller 
1 
1/5 
 
Harvester 
3 
1/15 
 
Wheelbarrow 
6 
1/30 
 
Scarecrow 
1 
3/5 
Note: Chickens are superior to crows? 
Sometimes the chickens can just charge through the crows and hit the scarecrow instantly killing him… or miss. 
 
 

Medieval units

 
Bard: 
1 
5/5 
Note: 
Roses are red 
Violets are blue 
The bard is fast, 
But the chicken is faster 
 
Squire: 
1 
4/5 
 
Archer 
1 
4/5 
Note: Better aim than the spear thrower but the longer fire rate makes it just as weak. 
 
Healer 
1 
5/5 
Note: i mean, is there really anything to say here? 
 
Knight 
3 
1/15 
 
Catapult 
3 
1/15 
Note: Only reason the chickens won was because the catapult shot itself killing it and the chicken and the game counted it as a win. 
 
The King 
10 
1/50 
 
 

Ancient units

 
Shield bearer 
1 
5/5 
 
Sarissa 
1 
4/5 
 
Hoplite 
1 
1/5 
 
Snake archer 
1 
5/5 
 
Ballista 
1 
5/5 
Note: The chickens size made it go hard to hit and its speed let it get to the ballista’s blind spots before it even shot the first ballista bolt. 
 
Minotaur 
3 
2/15 
 
Zeus 
27 
1/135 
Note: Chickens got lucky and his first bolt missed 
 
 

Viking units

 
Headbutter 
1 
4/5 
Note: Headbutting chicken meets headbutter 
 
Ice archer 
1 
5/5 
Note: Misses a lot and even when he hits it takes multiple shots to freeze 
 
Brawler 
1 
1/5 
 
Beserker 
1 
1/5 
 
Valkyrie 
1 
1/5 
Note: Got lucky and charged into the valkyrie during its first charge attack 
 
Longship 
7 
1/35 
Note: 5 chickens somehow survived the impact despite being in range and promptly destroyed the paddlers 
 
Jarl 
Taking a break here, the jarl is way to big of a challenge. Like the king but worse with his ice arena, enrage ability, pretty equal stats to king. Oh and also the same price when clearly the jarl would beat the king in a fight. 
 

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