Team Fortress 2 – How to micspam (the real mens way)

Step 1: Get VB audio cable

Get it over here: https://vb-audio.com/Cable 
 
This is 100% neccesary if you wanna micspam like a true gamer, if you use aux coords to mic spam, you may as well use that aux coord to hang yourself because you are a weak blooded male. VB audio cable essentially simulates a real mic output, i have no ♥♥♥♥♥♥ clue what the original purpose was of this program, but quite frankly i dont care. 
 
 
 

Step 2: Get your music player/video player/whatever you want to use to micspam

Could be anything, foobar2000 is the one i use, but you can even use your web browser if you want to. Now with foobar2000, you can just go to preferences and set the output there. But if you wanna use your browser because you’re too lazy to download videos and just wanna play them directly off of youtube, this is what you do: Right click your volume icon and go into sound settings, there scroll down and go to advanced sound settings. There you will see a menu of all the programs you currently got open with options for input and output. Now just set the input for whatever program you wanna use to micspam as VB-Audio cable and there ya go. 
 
 
 

Step 3: Making your micspam not sound like ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥

First of all, micspam at a low volume, as otherwise its gonna sound like a*s and annoy everyone (unless annoying people is what you wanna do in which case go all for it), also its reccomended you micspam in mono, not stereo, main reason being that TF2’s mic output is in mono. And if you micspam a stereo song it will only spam the left channel, which may be an issue as you can miss alot of information from the other channel. Let me make an example with a snippet from Captain Beefheart’s “Frownland” 
 
This is what it should sound like with both stereo channels properly downmixed to mono: 
 
https://files.catbox.moe/y9a0f5.mp3 
 
This is what it would sound like if you just micspam the stereo file: 
 
https://files.catbox.moe/t21n2q.mp3 
 
As you can hear, theres alot of information from the right missing if you dont downmix. 
 

but how do i downmix to mono HOW?

 
Glad you asked, now this is why i personally use foobar, as in that programs DSP manager in preferences, there is a option to downmix channels to mono. But what if you’re using a browser? Well, there are certain extentions that allow for downmixing the channels to mono, i had one on firefox but i couldnt tell you which one it is because of that one firefox update that ♥♥♥♥♥♥ up your extentions and automatically removed them (thanks mozilla you ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥) and due to that i lost it forever and i cant be assed to remember the name. So i cant help you on that front. 
 
 
 

man my thumb is getting really sore from holding the mic button in for so damn long ouch

Get this script and put it into your autoexec: https://gamebanana.com/scripts/4020 
 
Now you can toggle the mic, this is great for generally talking on the mic too, push to talk is annoying as ♥♥♥♥ and i dont like it one bit (hehe that rhymes) 
 
 
 

Congratulations

you’re a nuisance like me now 
 

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