Stardew Valley – Top Six Finest Fellas

What classifies a guy as a “fella”?

Well, that’s easy, pal! A fella is any male character in the game who is 1) single and 2) willing to marry you, because if this was a list of the top two hottest things in existence, consent and not committing adultery would be number one and two. For the sake of this guide I’ll be playing as a male character, as some dialogue options change based on gender.

And it’s important to note: All these fellas are fine. Fine as heck, dare I say it. This is like a tier list where they’re all in either A or B, and I’m just going down the rows. Along with that, there’s going to be uncensored spoilers for all of these character’s heart events. I won’t lie to you, I just don’t feel like marking them as spoiler.

Number 6: Sam

Oh, Sam? I’d say he’s a fine fella.

Realistically, he does it all – he skateboards, he’s in a band, he blames you for his mistakes, he’s the whole package really. But seriously, he can’t just take the blame and apologize for dropping one egg on the floor during the four heart event? That really is the root of the problem as to why I’m putting Sam at number six, and that is his childishness. And to be clear, it’s not the aforementioned skateboarding and band, it’s his dialogue. Out of all the candidates, at least in my opinion, his dialogue post-marriage just rarely actually feels like I’m married to him.
Of course not every line has to be riddled with affection, I just feel like it wouldn’t kill him to have a few more lines talking about us. Considering we’re married. To each other. And while I do enjoy some good fighting against the system, I just don’t think that the flower box outside Emily and Haley’s house is the only possible place to skateboard in town as mentioned in the six heart event.
But I want to end this off positive. Sam’s definitely cute, and I always enjoy his ten heart event. And I honestly love his fourteen heart event in both complexity and concept, it would definitely rank high on a list of every one of them.

Number 5: Elliot

Somebody say Elliot? Because he’s a fine fella.

As a writer who lives by the sea, Elliot is a man after my own heart. As a man who asks you to deliver him something then locks himself in his house for two days, he is not a man after my own heart. There isn’t particularly much that Elliot does wrong, it’s mostly a matter of memorability – while I do love some continuity between heart events, I didn’t really find myself remembering the whole book-writing aspect until I looked at it again for this guide. That said, it’s far from a bad concept, and it’s always nice to see the whole community come together.
Elliot almost take his poetic style a bit too far in some cases if you ask me. He speaks very eloquently, which I just feel I would appreciate more if he didn’t always have to speak that way. That of course isn’t to say there aren’t some really nice lines in there, especially when you ask him to be your partner at the flower dance. It’s so cute.
All around, Elliot just isn’t my cup of tea as a partner in a few ways here and there, but I definitely see the appeal and can respect his style. I love the kiss during the ten heart event, it’s definitely very sweet, and if you ask me it does give you a pretty reasonable way of saying you aren’t into him compared to most of the other heart events. Because unlike the disgrace that is saying “Sorry, but I don’t like you in that way…” to Penny, it’s not crazy to assume that being kissed suddenly on a boat in the middle of the water could make you a bit uncomfortable. Of course Elliot kissing me personally would never make me uncomfortable, he’s quite a dashing man and… I’m getting off topic.

Number 4: Shane

Shane? A fine fella for sure.

I’m a fan of delving into the true nature of alcoholism, it’s definitely an important topic to discuss, so I really appreciate Shane’s storyline in his heart events. It’s nice to see him go through the process of starting to get his life back together, and yet not fully recovering because it just isn’t that easy, even if I or you wish it was. This does mean you get a good bit less sweet dialogue coming from him, but as apposed to Sam who I know is fully capable of producing them, I can’t find it in myself to blame Shane for it. He ended up on a bad path, but when you boil down to it he wants to change, and I have to give him that.
And honestly, I love how cute the relationship between him and his chickens is. We all have our own way of getting through life, and hey, chickens is a pretty dang cool one if you ask me. And dang, if those blue chickens that the eight heart event unlocks aren’t fresh, I don’t know what is. Maybe I’m crazy, but it almost makes me wish Shane could somehow have a coop-based event of some sorts? Like maybe Charlie moves into a full-sized coop and lays special eggs or something, that’s just an idea that seems interesting to me.
Shane’s a great guy really, though a bit of a guy’s guy even when you play as a guy, if that makes any sense. It just feels a bit like he’s still a bachelor if you ask me, and I definitely understand if you’d prefer something like that, but it’s just not my favorite style personally when it comes to marriage.

Number 3: Alex

Alex? A fine fella, if you ask me.

When I first met Alex, I thought he was just gonna be a walking sports radio station, if you catch my meaning. That’s why it hits so hard when BOOM, turns out he’s a sweetheart with a sad past! I love the way you learn about him and realize why he has such a tough shell on the outside in the way he presents himself, and I don’t know why I’m surprised at Stardew Valley showing off an aspect of life that needs to be shown off, but I really like how it shows off someone with a verbally abusive parent. It makes me feel even better encouraging him then I already do going through his heart events.
And speaking of heart events, I really enjoy all of his. Especially how bashful he gets during the eight heart event if you say “I’ll always be here for you if you get lonely”, his comment about you being different from the other guys just feels so cute. And along with that, his confession that he tried to deny his feelings towards another man when he first met you really feels like a great way of looking at the possibly toxic masculinity being called “worthless” by his father instilled in him. It adds to the moment of him confessing anyway and deciding to follow his heart.
Really, he’s like Haley in a way, but honestly far better for me. If this list has taught me anything it’s that some of these male character’s stories can be noticeably heavier then the female’s stories, and I would genuinely rather run through Alex’s arch then Haley’s arch any day, even despite him only being third on the list, if that goes to show anything about these fellas.

Number 2: Sebastian

Hey buddy. If you read the title of this entry, then you might already know who number one is. But… between you and me, let’s just pretend you don’t for now.

Now Sebastian… he’s a fine fella.

Okay. You’re telling me I can get motorcycle husband and frog-loving husband in the same package? And he’s also a programmer? We’re really getting to some husband material at this point. Sebastian is a loner by nature, and that’s something I can really relate to. It’s really nice to have a partner who understands that not everyone likes being with friends or even each other, especially because Sebby knows how to be sweet in the moments he is with you. Some of his dialogue is just comforting, plain and simple, and that’s what I need sometimes.
And I mean, you basically get to play D&D in what of his heart events, at least by my very, very limited knowledge of that game, which is kinda dope. And while I know I already touched on it, I gotta rant about the fourteen heart cutscene, because it’s so great. Listen, call me whatever you want, but if all I have to do is marry someone to get a big ol’ terrarium full of frogs in my house, then bring out the wedding bells. But obviously, Sebastian is a part of why these events are so great just because of being able to see how much he cares for them. Gah, I need to move on, but I love it so much.
Sebastian’s a great guy, he really earns his spot at number two. It mostly comes down to personal preference as to why he isn’t at the top, but he could easily be there, especially with that beautiful city skyline kiss in his ten heart event. Really great.

Number 1: Harvey

Hey, it’s Harvey! He’s a fine fella indeed.

Alex is a twist sweetheart, but Harvey is a sweetheart through and through, a cinnamon roll if you will, and I love him because of that. And maybe it isn’t your cup of tea, but hearing him talking about all his doctoring things is just so nice to me, like he just really likes what he does and isn’t afraid to talk about it with me whether or not I know what he’s saying. And Harvey is out here caring for my main man George (Shoutout to George), so I can’t just not mention that.
Speaking of his two heart event, all of his other events are really nice too. Even if his fourteen heart event isn’t the most complex one in the game, it just feels so genuine, and that’s really one of the best words I can use to describe Harvey – a really genuine guy. He doesn’t let pressure society stop him from caring about any of his own personal interests, yet he’s willing to face his greatest fear just to give you a special moment in his ten heart event, and I honestly don’t think I could ask for much more.
It’s interesting because I feel like I don’t have as much to say about Harvey as some of the other guys, but that’s really just part of how much I like him. There’s not too much I need to explain, he just seems do everything he does right. If you ask me, Harvey earns his spot as the finest fella.

Thanks for reading!

Welp, that sure was something, wasn’t it? If you weren’t here from Top Six Flyest Honeys I recommend checking that one out too. I hopefully don’t have to explain how that one works to you.

I have fun making these. And whether or not I actually have the time to make it, expect a Top 21 Neatest Non-Marriage Candidates sometime in the future. If it takes a while pressure me. I mean that.

(Hey it’s me from the future. Or… I guess the present for me? I don’t know. I’m just here to say that Top Nine Non-Giftable NPCs is out now if you’re interested in reading that, too. Thanks!)

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