Satisfactory – How to pet a lizard (satire)

Satisfactory – How to  pet a lizard  (satire) 1 -
Satisfactory – How to pet a lizard (satire) 1 -
A step by step guide to learn how to pet a lizard doggo, flawlessly, no flaws whatsoever, no downsides.


pet the lizard doggo

Satisfactory - How to  pet a lizard  (satire) 
This guide will teach you how to get a lizard doggo, and pet it. 
step 1) Find lizard doggo 
First you must find a lizard doggo. To do this, go into a forest or wooded area. This should be pretty easy to find as long as you are not in a desert. If you are in a desert, leave, as this guide will not tell you how to leave the desert. 
step 2) kidnap lizard doggo 
Once you find the lizard doggo, kidnap him. To do this, go back to your base and get concrete to build walls. These can be unlocked in tier 1 of the hub, and concrete can be made with limestone. Once you get the concrete, go back to the lizard doggo to kidnap him by placing walls around it. 
step 3) realize that lizard doggo ran away before you kidnap him 
Once you get to the lizard doggo, it will have ran away before you got back. If he is still there, he will still be too fast for you to catch it. To fix this, you will need to acquire faster speed. 
step 4) get blade runners 
Blade runners improve your mobility. You can unlock them in the mam in the caterium research tree. You can find a guide for them online. 
step 5) get pale berry 
Walk around until you find what looks like to be a yellow nut. Pick it up, it should say beryl nut. If it does, then you picked up the wrong thing. You are actually looking for red berry’s. These are called pale berry’s 
step 6) find lizard doggo 
Repeat step 1 for this 
step 7) jump off cliff and die 
After step 6, jump off a cliff and die 
step 8) get your stuff back 
You stupid idiot you jumped off a cliff and died. Follow the crate marker on the hud to get your stuff. 
step 9) find lizard doggo 
repeat step 1 for this 
step 10) feed lizard doggo pale berry 
To do this, drop the berry. The lizard doggo will walk towards you and start eating it 
step 11) kill lizard doggo 
Kill the lizard doggo so its body will stay still. Use a xeno-basher or a ranged weapon to do this more efficiently. 
step 12) watch his body roll into water 
If there so happens to be water nearby, and the body rolls into water, watch it. 
step 13) pet the lizard doggo 
Go to the lizard doggo and press E. A hand animation will play where you pat the dogs head. 
Satisfactory - How to  pet a lizard  (satire) 
I hope this guide helped you, have a good day! 

Written by Hairy_otter

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